![]() ![]() They boldly screwed up where no one had screwed up before. ![]() I’ve had some bad experiences in my time, but the heroes I’m going to tell you about were the original old-school hard-luck cases. I’m a modern-day demigod-the son of Poseidon. By the way, if you don’t know me, my name is Percy Jackson. They totally got the short end of the Celestial stick. No matter how much you think your life sucks, these guys and gals had it worse. But the best reason to read about the old Greek heroes is to make yourself feel better. If you’re looking to fight monsters yourself, these stories might help you avoid some common mistakes-like staring Medusa in the face, or buying a used mattress from any dude named Crusty. It’s hard enough for me to read books.” Then they promised me a year’s supply of free pepperoni pizza, plus all the blue jelly beans I could eat. ![]() The publisher was like, “Oh, you did such a great job writing about the Greek gods last year! We want you to write another book about the Ancient Greek heroes! It’ll be so cool!” And I was like, “Guys, I’m dyslexic. Auuuggghhh! Auuuggghhh! The fella was screaming, "I'm blind! I can't see!" *Twice* when I was fishing.“LOOK, I’M ONLY IN THIS FOR THE PIZZA. Aggghhh! Aggghhh! Aggghhh! And plucked a man's eyeballs out of his sockets. And that'd rip your face right off! Right off! Nothing you can do with that! Just rip it off! Once there was a hawk that swooped down from the sky. Garrgghh! Garrgghh! I've seen a badger with paws as big as frying pans. that it *snapped* a man's body in half with his huge jaws. Hunt: Fearsome beasts of the mountains and plains.Hunt: What I remembered the most were the animals. ![]()
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